Whales ‘n’ Stuff

Hello reader, I hope you are well. Honestly, I do. I have been doing pretty well recently, thanks for asking. We are nearly three weeks into the new year, and I am finally getting to grips with things. It’s about time. My writers’ group reunited for the first time this year, and so much writing was done. One of the exercises involved rolling two dice and making up a story with the two pictures you got. For mine, I got a whale and a banana. Easy, right? Here is what I managed to squeeze together in 20 minutes. I hope you like it: The tide rose again and again. The waves lapped higher and higher. The coast had never seen such a terrifying scene in centuries. The weatherman on Channel One said it would blow over by Thursday. It was now Monday, and the storm has not let go of its incessant howling. Day and night, the rain melts the paint on the beachfront houses. The roads are filled with the seaweed of yesteryear. All of a sudden, silence. The townspeople emerge from their underground bunkers to catch their breaths while tasting the salted air. Women and children cry as their houses are stripped bare. Men cry as their cars and motorbikes are barely standing upright. Later that day, at the animal enclosure, the monkeys arose. Not knowing what had happened. The ape family assessed the damage in the only way they knew. Looking around. Something didn’t look right. The head gorilla grunted. The mother gorilla yelped. The baby gorillas wailed. There was a whale where the banana tree once was. The whale ate the banana tree as the monkeys looked on in horror. The zookeeper arrived later. He was just as surprised. Thankfully.

Pretty bizarre, I know. I had no idea where it was going, and I still don’t know. That’s all from me today. You are doing great, by the way. This time of year is challenging because many people, like myself, put a lot of pressure on themselves to try and start winning at life, whatever that means. Just know it’s okay that you haven’t gotten your act together yet. I was meant to write a blog post every week this year. Look how that turned out thus far.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your time.

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John Mulaney - From Scratch

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Hello 2023